It took just a minute.

That my trust for him disappeared.

I didn’t know he was like that.

Especially to me, his little girl.

 

He came home, drunk.

Giving me a good night kiss.

Then another one.

I didn’t notice his hand under my blanket

Until it was too late.

 

I pushed him away, telling him to go to bed.

I was mad, furious, outraged!

It didn’t make it any better when he constantly told me

That he was just saying good night to me.

 

But after he went into his room, my mood changed.

I was scared and sad, and I wished I could be somewhere else.

I called my best friend. She knew what to do.

I went home to my mom’s house, crying and shaking.

It has never been so good to be home before.

 

The next day I talked to my mom and my sister.

They we’re shocked by the news.

My sister started crying, I think she threw up as well.

 

The same day we went to the police.

I told the policewoman the whole story.

And then we got the name of a good attorney

 

After visiting the police, we went to a bakery.

We laughed and had a good time. I felt safe again.

Then he called me.

My mother answered the call.

He told her he was just tucking me in.

 

I felt sad, lonely and scared at the same time.

But then I started to think that maybe he did just tuck me in.

I felt guilty.

I had made such a big deal about it.

 

Mom told me that he would never confess to this.

He was guilty, and I knew it.

He is just very good to slide out of things.

 

I realized that I had lost my father.

I couldn’t trust him again

I defenitly didn’t want to see him again.

I cried again.

Thinking about all the good times we’ve had.

 

If he didn’t do it, he would’ve called me all the time.

To settle it straight.

To make it right.

But he didn’t

 

When I got home I was sort of happy again.

I was on the computer, talked to my sister about fun stuff.

Then she left.

I felt paranoid.

I knew that he could enter the door any minute.

I went out.

 

I didn’t know why I was scared.

I’ve known him my entire life.

It was just that one minute of mistake

I wish he had never done it.

 

When I came to my friend’s house, I talked to her about it.

She was shocked

She had always something to say about everything

But not now.

 

I’m sitting at home now

Thinking about it, and writing it down.

Wishing that I can let him see it sometime.

It can start with: Dear dad.

No.

I can never call him dad again.