I still haven’t found out why.

And I guess I never will.

I’ve always been one of the abrasive type. Strict, yet fair. Strong, proud, stubborn, with a bad Scottish temper and a very cool demeanor. Always shutting people out, afraid of getting hurt. I just can’t stand the thought of another piece of my heart falling helplessly into the sea of loneliness, or the tears pouring down my cheeks, making me feel like a desert inside.

I decided years ago that no one could ever love me. Whenever a guy starts to flirt with me, I tell him to take his pickup-lines and shove them up somewhere unpleasant. Well, that was until you came along. One single look into those soft, chestnut eyes of yours made me melt straight away. I knew I shouldn’t, but my stubborness failed me. I tried to stay strong, but you had me in the palm of your hand.

You just walked into the room and smiled at me. I felt like I had to smile back, but that, I realised, turned out to be a bad move. That very instant the corners of my mouth twitched upwards, I noticed I’d made the mistake of my life. “The point of no return”, as people call it. You knew exactly how to manipulate me. Sweet talking me all the time, hypnotising me your kind eyes and making me feel so safe in your strong arms.

You touches were featherlike and loving. And your kisses. Oh, your kisses were so passionate. In three weeks you had managed to open my heart entirely. I can’t believe I actually let it happen. I still ask myself that question. Why did I trick my heart into thinking that you really, truly loved me? Why didn’t I see through your lies and notice that you were just playing with me?

WHY?

But I’ve realised it now. I was right all along and I just ignored it. No one can ever love me! So to everyone who think they now what a heartache feels like, I would like to say: “Sus docet Minervam.” Because I believe I can call myself an expert.

Yet again I’m back to square one.

I’ve always one of the abrasive type. Strict, yet fair. Strong, proud, stubborn, with a bad Scottish temper and a very cool demeanor. And I have no intentions of being otherwise. Why? Oh, I’m sure you know the reason by now...

A/N: “Sus docet Minervam” : The pig is teaching Minerva. (Minerva is the goddess of wisdom).

A saying that basically means that an idiot is telling an expert how to do something.